INClUSIVEN ESS 
"Stretch the circle wider." This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they c~ feel the warmth of the group. You are an in- stinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person's feelings. Why do that if you don 'thave to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve. 

Inclusiveness sounds like this: 
Harry D., outplacement consultant: "Even as a child, although I was very shy, I always made sure that I was the one inviting others to play. When picking teams or sides in school, I never wanted anyone not to participate with us. In fact, I can re- member when I was ten or eleven, I had a friend who was not a member of our church-he was a Catholic. We were at a church banquet, and he showed up at the door because typically we had our youth activity on that night. Immediately, I got up, brought him over to our family, and sat him down at the table." 
Jeremy D., defense lawyer: "When I first started this job, I met people and be- came fast, furious friends with them almost on day one, only to find out later that, you know, this person's got a lot of issues, and I'v~ already included them in dinner parties and our social circle. My partner, Mark, is like 'What is it exactly that made you want to include this person?' And then it's a matter of figuring out what pushed my buttons when I first met them, that made me enjoy them so much. And, you know, making sure that this is the aspect of them that Mark and I focus on . . . because once I include someone in my circle, I don't, you know, dump them." 
Giles D., corporate trainer: "In class I seem to be able to sense when someone is disengaging from the group discussion, and I immediately draw them back into the conversation. Last week we got into a lengthy discussion about performance ap- praisals, and one woman wasn't talking at all. So I just said, 'Monica, you've had performance appraisals. Any thoughts on the subject?' I really think this has helped me as a teacher because when I don't know the answer to something, very often it is the person I pull in who supplies the answer for me."